


From Yellow Lemon Frocks to Sexy Red Fox

by Crizzadile



Category: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Everyone is screaming at the TV, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Himbo Colin, If you’ve watched queer eye you know this has feels, Pen&Colin flirtin on TV without knowing they are, Protective colin, Queer Eye crossover, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, crackfic sorry not sorry, glow up, makeout already, no beta we die like men, the office style camera deadpanning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29726931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crizzadile/pseuds/Crizzadile
Summary: The Fab 5 were called in to help the shy Penelope Featherington ditch her yellow frocks and turn her into a sexy fox!Along the way, the Fab 5 makes Colin realize how perfect she is the way she is.[Queer Eye and Bridgerton Modern AU Crackfic]
Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington
Comments: 102
Kudos: 236





	1. We Nominate Penelope Featherington!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. I apologize in advance for what goes on in my brain but yet another incoherent crackfic from myself, it’s going to be short (fic is finished) but I am posting it in short chapters as if mimicking scenes in the tv show lol!  
> A little background. I saw articles that Jonathan Van Ness from Queer Eye is besties with Nicola Coughlan and then I decided to binge-watch (S1-S5) of queer eye in a couple of days, and so here we are....not beta’ed. 
> 
> I suggest watching the new Queer Eye on Netflix to understand the format below, because writing something in a Queer eye format is so crazy to write in fic, so suspension of disbelief is needed because you have to read it like you're watching Queer Eye or The Office, LOL.

"Are ya'll ready to learn about our newest little baby flower that we're going to help in our first Queer Eye UK Edition?" Jonathan Van Ness, Queer Eye's resident grooming expert asked the team as he turned on the tablet. He pulled up their next dossier.

The Fab 5 were now in the UK doing their Queer Eye UK edition, and today, they were headed to downtown London. Tan France, the fashion expert, obviously took the wheel to the new white Land Rover Discovery adorned with the plate **FAB5 UK** since he was one of the only ones who knew how to drive correctly on the other side since he grew up in Britain. No one argued; no one also wanted to drive after a 7-hour flight from the US to the UK.

"Yaaasss!" Everyone roared. 

"Who is our first catch of the day UK!" Karamo Brown, Queer eye's culture expert, demanded excitedly. He sat in between Bobby Berk, the design expert and Antoni Porowski, the food and wine expert at the backseat.

"Okay, so our little baby butterfly is Penelope Featherington, and she was nominated by her sister Felicity and her best friend, Eloise. They think she's perfect the way she is, but they need the Fab 5 to break her out of her shell." Jonathan replied. "Her friends and family all think she's gorgeous. She just needs to get out there more."

"Wow, already such good friends. She already sounds like she has such a good support system," Karamo nodded.

"According to her friends and family, she wears the same color and frills and frocks from when she was 16," Jonathan kept reading. 

"Oh no, what's the color," Tan asked, keeping his eyes on the road. 

"Yellow, lots and lots of yellow. She looks like a little baby lemon, oh nooooo," Jonathan whimpered, looking at her photo that flashed up on the screen. "But oh my goooooddd!!! She looks gorgeous look at those cute baby cheeks and her gorgeous eyes! Oh my goddddd, she has the hair of a Goddess!"

"Wait, what's wrong with yellow? I think yellow looks good on people," Tan said. "I mean, Karamo wears yellow daily, and he looks adorable."

Karamo nodded, "Like today! Donning some yellow kicks and yellow cap, yellow looks good on people."

"Oh, lovelies," Jonathan looked at Tan to his side, then turned to look at Karamo behind him. "Uh-uh, the baby is pale like Edward Cummen in Twilight, but she has gorgeous bright red hair."

"Cullen, you mean Cullen," Antoni laughed.

"Whatever Queen, it was before my time," Jonathan rolled his eyes.

Tan gasped. "Wait, wait, yellow on pale skin and red hair?? Definitely not!"

"Yes, please! Let's make this little baby lemon into the hottest crunchiest apple of the season.But also, get this, she is an established writer, and oh my god, she writes romance novels under the pen name Lady Whistledown," Jonathan continued.

"What?! No way!" Antoni's eyes widened, a smile breaking out. "I read her stuff! They're so cute. It gives you squishies!" He started clapping his hands as well. "Literally, you all need to read her books. You will cry yourself to sleep not having the romances in these books she writes."

"Wait, so she writes romance novels but has no actual romance for herself?" Bobby asked, bewildered.

Everyone gasped, looking at each other and then shaking their head.

"That can not do!" Antoni huffed. "We need to find her someone ASAP. Someone who writes books like these can not be single."

"OH.MY.GOD. nonononononono," Jonathan screeched all of sudden, startling everyone.

"Jonathan WHAT!" Bobby yelled.

Jonathan took a deep breath, placing a hand on his chest dramatically before continuing. "I just read this, so I am excited and shocked as everyone."

"Jonathan, get to it!!!" Tan screamed, gripping the car wheel. 

"Everyone listen to this. Apparently, Penelope has been in love with someone, and the person is one of the people we are interviewing, but her friends are not saying who!" Jonathan screeched. 

"Oh my god!" Antoni and Bobbi gasped, both clasping onto Karamo's arms on either side at the back seat.

"Oh my god! All the romantics in the house make some noise!" Karamo yelled out in the car. 

Everyone roared out.

"Okay, everyone...change of plans, this is operation make Penelope go from yellow lemon frocks to a sexy fox! But also a little covert operation to also hopefully get a husband for her by the end of the week!!!!" Jonathan shrieked.

“YAAASSSSS!!!” Everyone exploded.

* * *

**"** My name is Felicity Featherington!" Felicity beamed at the cameras.

"And I am Eloise Bridgerton," Eloise said, less excited than Felicity.

"And we're nominating Penelope Featherington for the Fab 5." They both said at the same time, with Felicity smiling wide at the cameras, excited to be there while Eloise rolled her eyes.

"Don't get me wrong, I think this whole glow-up thing is utterly ridiculous," Eloise stuck out her tongue, clearly not enjoying this. "One should not change yourself. But sometimes…" Eloise sighed. "One needs to at least come out of one's shell. Penelope's been in her shell far too long. I've known her since we were 16, and she hasn't come out of her shell no matter how hard we try."

Felicity nodded vigorously. "Yes, yes, we all think Penelope is gorgeous, and I don't know why mother insists on putting her in yellow. But Penelope also never changed her style? She's moved out now for the last few years, but she still never changed her outfits. So maybe she'll listen to the Fab 5. You need to get her out of those frocks."

“She doesn’t really go out unless I bring her out, and that’s not often because I don't go out. And then I’d come over to her place and we’d both be at home,” Eloise said expressionlessly.“We’re both just potatoes together..."

"Mashed potatoes," Eloise said deadpanning to the camera.

Felicity looked slowly to the camera and nodded pitifully.

* * *

"Penelope Featherington is getting a makeover?" Miss Danbury looked into the camera and then to her dear friend Violet Bridgerton sitting next to her. "Finally!" She said smacking the bottom of her cane against the ground.

"Penelope is such a sweet girl! She is so cute, and she's like a daughter to me, so I am excited she'll be getting, uh how do you say a 'glow-up?'" Violet nodded, smiling enthusiastically into the camera.

"Bout damn time," Miss Danbury said. "The girl is so beautiful yet hides behind those ugly frocks her mother calls fashion," she shook her head.

"You better make her up nice and lovely," Danbury warned the Fab 5 into the camera.

* * *

"Penelope Featherington? Nice girl. In need of a wardrobe change for sure, needs a boyfriend," Anthony Bridgerton said stonily to the camera.

"Anthony!" Kate Bridgerton snorted, smacking her husband on the arm, frowning before turning back to the camera.

"I said, she's a nice girl and needs a boyfriend!" Anthony defended.

"Well, I think Penelope looks great. She just needs some boost. And she's been single a while, but she does have a crush on someone, and we want her to be more confident, the Fab 5 can help with this," Kate nodded. "We also, want the guy she has a crush on to be… more aware, I suppose."

"Wait, who are you speaking of Kate? Penelope has a crush?" Anthony asked, turning to his wife.

"Don't worry about it, Anthony," Kate grinned into the camera and winked. 

* * *

"Penelope Featherington huh?" Colin Bridgerton looked into the camera and gave his most dazzling smile. "I knew her since we were kids. Actually, she wears a lot of hats and bows! I actually met her first when her hat smacked into me, and I fell from a horse!" Colin laughed, shaking his head.

"That's the first time I met her. She's always wearing yellow hats and yellow dresses. Always such a darling, smiling, bouncy, an absolute joy..." he trailed off then rubbed his chin as if deep in thought.

"Yeah, Penelope hasn't really changed from the first time I met her," his laughter subsided, but a smile still stayed on his face. His eyes fell to the ground as he folded his arms in front of the camera. He then looked back up into the camera, looking more serious than he did a second ago. 

"I mean, I don't think there's much to change with Penelope, she's charming already, in my opinion."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Next, the Fab 5 crashes Penelope's pad in the City of London!_


	2. Little Baby Lemon Yellow Frocks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, wow, when I first wrote this, I thought, haha, I'm sooo funny and dumb, and not a lot of people might enjoy this, but the reception to this was actually kinda awesome, and ya'll are as nuts like me. So thank you for letting me know that you like this! The blockquote after a scene is the camera cutting to confessionals. Let me know if it's easy to read, unbetaed! Here you go! 2nd scene after the adbreak!

"Uhm… hi… I'm Penelope Featherington, and I'm a writer," Penelope clasped her hands in front of her, occasionally averting her gaze nervously away from the camera.

"Uh, my day consists of staying at home and writing. Because, well, I'm a writer," she continued, flashing a shy smile.

"I work at home, uh, because I have to write," she didn't know what else to say. "Wow, the more I speak, the less interesting I sound," she chuckled, looking at the camera crew behind the cameras. 

"So-Sorry, I'm nervous and never had this much attention on me. I guess that's probably why Eloise and Felicity signed me up for Queer Eye," she continued to laugh tensely. "I'm probably going to kill them by the end of the week, even though they did tell me to keep an open mind, so I will… but after that, I will kill them." She laughed again, then paused. Her eyes going back to the camera crew behind the cameras.

"Wait, is this going to be aired because this is… probably some sort of evidence that could be used against me… right?" she glanced worriedly at the camera crew.

Then, the doorbell to her flat rang, and before she could react to it, the door burst open. Penelope yelped, jumping up from her sofa in shock. Her eyes widened with terror as 5 eccentric men barged in and swarmed her flat.

"Oh my god!," she squeaked as Jonathan crashed into her. 

* * *

"OH. MY. GOD. YOU. ARE. GOH-OR-GEOUS." Jonathan shrieked, blowing everyone's eardrums off when he laid eyes on Penelope. He had his hair in a ponytail today, and it was flopping wildly side to side as he crashed into Penelope, scooping her up into an embrace, squeezing the life out of her. 

"Honey, you are literally the most cutest littlest polly pocket, I just want to pick you up into a little tiny baby ball and put you in my pocket," Jonathan squealed. "Your body, your hair, your face, your eyes. I love everything about you. OH MY GOD. I can't even right now," Jonathan was fanning himself with one of his free hands. "I am OBSESSED with you."

"Can I touch your amazing blazing waves of fire?" Jonathan requested after he let her go. "I mean, we're way past niceties since I basically came into your space, but hayyyy never too late to ask for permission," he simpered at her.

"Ye-yes," Penelope blurted out. Jonathan touched her hair and crooned in amazement.

"It's so soft, like a little baby chinchilla, oh my god, I can sleep on the softness of your hair!" Jonathan continued to coo. He then looked at her from top to bottom. Penelope was wearing a long yellow dress with frills on the shoulders, sleeves, and skirt.

"Girl, you are giving me Amy Adams in her princess dress in Enchanted realness right now. Which I _absolutely_ love," Jonathan said eagerly.

"BUT, it does not work for 2021," Tan interjected, cutting Jonathan off. 

"OH my god NOOOOO, she's so perfect, oh my god. Nooooo. Don't listen to him, my little baby girl," Jonathan said, putting his hands over Penelope's ears.

> * * *
> 
> "Uhm, excuse me, NO one told me the baby lemon IRL is goh-or-geous." Jonathan told the camera, his mouth wide open in shock. 
> 
> "They kinda did. But now I understand why her family and friends kept saying she looks perfect," Karamo nodded into the camera. "I don't even understand why we're here? She doesn't look like she needs work at all. She just needs to carry herself better. She looked so scared and so timid."
> 
> "I mean 5 unconventional gays coming into your house and upturning your life will do that," Bobby stated, looking into the camera, like an 'oh duh'. 
> 
> "The Girl is beautiful. But she was wearing this atrocious yellow dress with a ton of frills and ruffles. Frills on her shoulders, ruffles on the end of the sleeves, frills on the bottom of the dress. Girl, frills, and ruffles were so 1992, and the only thing good that year was the music," Tan said, shaking his head.
> 
> "I'm a fan. I'm just a big fan," Antoni spoke, looking into the camera. "Will she sign my Lady Whistledown books I brought?" Antoni held up 5 Lady Whistledown books to the camera.

* * *

Bobby looked around the flat. "This place is so neat but so empty. There's really nothing here?" He questioned Penelope, indicating the bare living room, which only had a white pull-out sofa, a coffee table, and the tv.

"Ah yes, so I bought this flat a couple years ago, but I moved in about 5 years ago? And Eloise and I just went to IKEA. We got the cheapest couch at the time, we just graduated from University, and yeah, this is it!"

"Oh, so it was like a dorm roommate situation, and Eloise is? Was? A roommate?" Bobby asked.

"She was a roommate and recently moved out, but she does still come over a lot like we still live together," she laughed. "It's like she never left!"

"Okay, okay so we want to kind of, still keep one of the three rooms you have as like a guest bedroom," Bobby pointed over to the other bedrooms. 

Penelope nodded. "Yes, that works! I mean, no one else really visits me, except…" she trailed off.

"Except?" Karamo popped up behind Bobby, resting his arm on Bobby as he leaned against him. 

"I mean Col-," she flushed and cleared her throat, cutting off what she was saying. "Well, the Bridgerton family comes by here and there. My sister and mother. But they all don't stay long," she said. "They just come by to see how I am doing."

"So you don't really entertain them, but you would like to?" Karamo asked.

Penelope nodded. 

"So tell me, Penelope, I see the three bedrooms. One is your bedroom, which we should make your oasis, but the other two are bare, so where is your workspace?" Bobby continued looking around her neat but bare home. 

Penelope apprehensively glanced at the tattered couch.

"The IKEA sofa?!" Bobby gasped.

* * *

> Bobby shook his head. "Honestly, the fact she cranks out best-sellers on the couch points to what a literary genius this girl is."
> 
> Antonio’s jaw dropped, and he stared at Bobby. "She makes these amazing works on the couch? That's admirable. I would fall asleep on the couch."
> 
> "Can you imagine what she can do in actual writing designated space?" Bobby asked the camera. "She's going to make another best-seller in that workspace I am going to make her. Mark my words. And I am going to buy it!"
> 
> Antoni beamed and applauded. "Yay! But first, you have to read all her books she wrote on the IKEA couch first. That couch makes magic," he held up the same 5 Lady Whistledown novels to the camera. "I'm a huge fan."

* * *

"Penelope, I love your kitchen," Antoni announced as he looked through her fridge and pantry. "You're very well stocked!" His voice was full of surprise and wonder. 

"You said you don't entertain, but the food you have here… these cheeses, meats, fruits," Antoni started taking out all the ingredients he listed from the fridge onto the counter. "These are all enough to make a charcuterie board! All you are missing is the board!"

Bobby and Karamo came into the kitchen to grab a few of those cheeses Antoni put out on the counter and subsequently shuffled out to raid the rest of her house.

"Ah, uh," Penelope smiled as she walked over to one of the cupboards and opened it. She took out a charcuterie board and placed it on the kitchen counter. "I do have a charcuterie board."

Antoni's eyes widened as he turned to look slowly at the camera with a broad smile before shifting to look slowly at Penelope. 

"You're kidding me, you have a charcuterie board, and you actually use it? You don't understand the number of people who have these boards and don't actually use them," he laughed happily. "I did not expect this. You're like my favorite person right now."

"Col- _ah_ , some people that sometimes visit me love to eat," she glowed, a smile crept on her face as she spoke, and her eyes dropped to the floor. She clasped her hands together, intertwining them like a little schoolgirl. "And whenever they're here, they just eat a ton of cheeses, sandwiches, snacks."

"Is there something you'd like me to teach you?" Antoni queried.

"I would love it if you taught me how to cook more homey food? Like comfort food, something someone who loves eating would like, like shepherds pie, maybe a beef wellington?" Penelope asked. "A lot of what I serve isn't something I make. They're all store-bought."

Antoni placed a hand to his heart, his eyes watering up slightly. "Penelope Featherington, if I were not gay, I would like, love to marry you… no one has asked me to make something as complicated as a beef wellington. So yes, it is my absolute honor to teach you how to make beef wellington."

* * *

> "I love her. I want to marry her," Antoni said seriously, looking directly into the camera.
> 
> "Hey! No! Me first!" Jonathan whined.
> 
> "Excuse me, aren't we supposed to find her a real husband?" Karamo asked the two in disbelief. "You both can't marry her because we need to sess out this dude. We got to ask her who it is without actually directly asking her." Karamo whipped his head back to look at the camera and smashed his right fist into his left palm. "We need to find her a husband."
> 
> "Not _a_ husband, _THE_ husband," Jonathan corrected. 

* * *

"Okay, so, now that I've calmed down because I've drunk in all of your gorgeousness and got a huge hangover," Jonathan said dramatically, putting his hand out to indicate the gorgeousness that is Penelope. He then inhaled and placed his hands on the bathroom sink. "Tell me what magic goes on in this place."

Penelope was standing in the middle of her bathroom and looked around. "Well, when I wake up, I come here, brush my teeth…" she trailed off not knowing what else to say on what she did in the bathroom.

"Umm-hmm Ummm hmm, tell me more," Jonathan nodded, placing a hand under his chin, watching Penelope intensely. "I only see 2 bottles at the bathtub. What's that about?"

"Well, then I shower, wash my face with the 3-in-one body, hair, face shampoo and-," Jonathan gulped and raised his hand up, indicating her to stop talking. She did.

"Excuse me?" Jonathan blinked. "Backup. You use.. A 3-in-1 body, hair, face shampoo for… everything?"

Penelope looked at her bathtub with the 3-in-1 bottle, "Uh yes?"

“Honey nooooooooooooooooo!!!” Jonathan gasped, horror apparent on his face. "You need different products for your face, hair, body. But, I am actually discombobulated that your face is flawless, not a pimple in sight, and your hair…" he touched her hair again and cooed. 

"How is your hair still extremely soft? And all you've been using is a 3-in-1?! Darling, what spells are you casting because you are a SORCERESS. I thought you were using high-end products to keep your face and hair so superb," he exhaled and continued caressing her hair like she was a puppy before pulling off the scrunchie that was tying her hair up. 

Her hair cascaded down gracefully, hitting below her shoulders, in large gorgeous curls at the back, but tight small curls at the front of her face.

"I am extremely obsessed with you. You are like a gorgeous mythical creature, like, your hair is so like, remarkably soft, you have great curls, if I slap some red lipstick on your voluptuous lips, you look like old Hollywood Lucille Ball, oh my god! It won't be I Love Lucy, it'll be I _love_ Penelope. Which I do! Are these natural curls?"

Penelope nodded, her curls bouncing up and down on her face.

"God, impressive, okay we're keeping those curls, but like, it shouldn't be this tight, you look like the queen's wigs in 1800's we don't want that," he shook his head, pulling her bunched up curls at the front and pulling them till they were straight.

"I want to give you some hot, sexy red fox kind of hairstyle, so I might want to give you some amazing wispy bangs at the front and some layers that still keep the curls at the back. You really have this old hollywood type of curl that people would DIE to have, so don't tie it up too much, let your hair down Girl, shake it off, show it off." Jonathan said as he too pulled off his own scrunchie that help his hair up. 

"Do it with me, Penelope, shake your hair, like you just don't careee!"He shook his head, so his hair flew side to side, wiggling his booty along with his hair.

Penelope giggled and shook her head from side to side.

"Yassss Queen!! I want to keep your signature hair color, we'll keep her, she's gorgeous, but do a hairstyle that makes your gorgeous baby cheeks and bewitching eyes as forefront as much as your hair is the star, okay?"

Penelope gleamed and agreed. "That sounds lovely. I haven't cut my hair in a long time because it's just curly and it's a hassle, no one looks at me anyways-,"

"Penelope, Featherington, you take that nasty rainy cloud vibe out of here and tell that biznitch to get out of the door. Right now," Jonathan scowled. "Don't you dare say anything like that to my little joyous baby sunshine."

"Al-alright!" Penelope stammered and nodded.

* * *

> Jonathan stared into the camera and huffs. "The baby citron is a GOD-DESS. That figure? Divine! That face? Gorgeous. Those eyes? Honey you can drown in them. That hair? A burning bushfire of mamacitaness. But oh, the little baby sunshine needs CON-FI-DANSEEEEE exercised into her head."

* * *

"No sunscreen?" Jonathan continued rummaging through her bathroom. "I don't see sunscreen!" he panicked.

"Not in the London weather," Penelope grinned. "Oh, wrong answer?" she asked because Jonathan glared at her and tsked. 

"TSK. Oh honey, no. A common misconception people think is that if it's gloomy, no suns gonna getcha. Wrong! UV rays are prominent when the sun is out. Booboo, you gotta wear sunscreen," he started pinching her cheeks. "Oh, you little twilight vampire you, I am going to make you sparkle like crazy like the Edward Cummen guy."

"CULLEN!" Antoni yelled all the way from the kitchen. 

* * *

"So Penelope, I went through your closet," Tan opened the closet in Penelope's room, and he promptly shields his eyes. "Ah! My eyes!" he started laughing.

"I'm joking, but really," Tan said, taking the yellow dresses from her wardrobe and throwing them on the floor, meaning trash pile.

"You are wearing clothes that are two sizes bigger than you, there are frills everywhere, and it just does not do you any good." Tan eyed Penelope from top to bottom.

"We need to find something that's more you. Not yellow. I would love to give you more pop of color that doesn't wash you out, like these greens are good, something to accentuate those gorgeous curves, hair, and eyes. Oh my god, we've never used gorgeous so much in an episode," Tan stated, still taking some of the dresses off the hangers and throwing it on the floor.

"I know right????" Jonathan and Karamo popped out of Penelope's closet. Both wearing large yellow sun hats and yellow skirts.(what were long skirts on Penelope) were miniskirts on these two tall men).

"It's because it's the truth this Girl is KYUUUUUTEEE we just need to burn all these clothes. But the hats are cute. Keep the hats!" Jonathan said, batting his eyelashes into the camera, with the yellow hat on his head. 

"You're a writer, sometimes you have to do book promos, and I know one of your books got adapted into a movie, so we need to find you something that says _'Hey world, I'm a badass writer, watch me be a literary genius!'_ right?" Tan asked Penelope. "I am trying to gauge what and where you go to, so I know what to accentuate when you go to these things."

Penelope looked down at herself. "I-I don't think there's much to accentuate because I don't find anything that appealing," she said, her voice low. "And I don't really go to those book promos or red carpets. I just rather stay behind the cameras. I don't like to be the focus because I am never the focus."

Karamo frowned and stepped in, this was a self-esteem issue, and he wanted to get to the bottom of it. "Wait, hold on, why do you think that of yourself?"

Penelope's cheeks reddened as it had the whole day. She drew in a sharp breath, and her eyes averting everyone's gazes, including the camera. Her mouth went into a thin line.

"I don't think anyone really notices me, especially when I was growing up. I was, well, _still_ am a wallflower. I don't really talk, so why speak out now? I'm just thrilled and extremely proud about people taking notice of my work. That's enough for me," she clarified, her eyes lighting up when she spoke about her work.

"I love what I do, and as long as people continue to love my work, I'm delighted. It's the thing that tells me I have a legacy! Who cares if they see the face of who's writing it." She inhaled and then exhaled, a relieved look washed over her face, knowing that she was done with her speech. 

"Oh, Penelope, this thinking of _I'm too forgettable, I'm a wallflower_ , that all needs to go away, and we're going to get to the bottom of this and get you out of that headspace. You can be both proud of your work, but also proud of yourself! They're one in the same." Karamo said. 

Jonathan began tearing up. "You little ball of sunshine, you are making me cry. Please hold me until you or I, mostly I, stop crying." Jonathan demanded.

Penelope laughed as the Fab 5 went to hug her. 

* * *

> Karamo sighed as he looked into the camera and shook his head.
> 
> "At first, we were like, why are we here? This Girl is gorgeous, she's a successful writer, she has tons of family and friends who love her, she has a sweet downtown pad... but as we look more into every aspect of her life, we see the layers to her," Karamo stated.
> 
> "Now I know why Eloise said she tried her best to get her out of her shell because if her friend she knew from 16 can't do it, you have to call in the big guys," Bobby said.
> 
> "Penelope doesn't think she's good enough because she grew up as a wallflower. She is most proud of her work, and you see that she takes pride in it in her eyes. That's who she is. However, Penelope needs to get out of her shell, that space she put herself in," Karamo said.
> 
> "Her confidence, once she finds it and ditches all that shyness, when it comes out…" Tan said with a cheeky smile trailing off so Jonathan could finish.
> 
> "Look out world, sexy red fox is coming to SAH-LAYYYYYYY" Jonathan snapped his fingers three times - at the top of his head, to the middle and at the bottom, and finally winked into the camera.

* * *

"So Penelope, how do you feel about 5 gays bamboozling your life," Jonathan asked, putting his arm around Penelope's shoulder, pulling her close to his side, rubbing her shoulder. The rest of the Fab 5 were now starting to plan their regiment for Penelope after their big group hug.

"So, this is an experience," Penelope told Jonathan. "Having the Fab 5 just in my house is overwhelming, but it is so beneficial for me, I understand that," she smiled at him. "I get why Eloise and Felicity did this, I still will kill them at the end of the week though."

"You know, this is what your friends and family want you to experience because--," Jonathan started before the front door creaked open. Both of them turned to see who it was.

They weren't expecting anyone, this was not part of the script.

"Oh! Colin, what're you doing here?" Penelope's eyes widened with astonishment. Her voice raising when she saw him. "I thought you were going off on your travels this week! I could've sworn your flight was yesterday."

Colin looked at the cameras for a brief moment before turning to look and give Penelope a soft smile. "Eloise told me the Fab 5 were coming to ransack your house today, I came to check up on you."

* * *

> Jonathan's eyes widened and sparkled as he whipped his head to look at the camera. His mouth flew open and he pressed his hands into his cheeks into a silent scream, he was in utter shock. 
> 
> "This is not part of the script. This is not a drill!!! PLOT TWIIISTTT!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _After the ~~non-existent~~ Ad Break - Next Up! Penelope gets a glow-up and the Fab 5 are on a mission to find ~~A~~ THE Husband._


	3. Glow Up & Show Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Utmost highest regards and thanks to the most delightful [ TJLJJ ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TJLJJ/pseuds/TJLJJ)for beta-ing this!! Thank you for being the best arounddd!
> 
> Notes:  
> 1)The blockquote after a scene is the camera cutting to confessionals  
> 2) Also ya’ll this fashion style I have going on for Penelope is basically Nicola’s fashion sense.Haha!  
> 3) To those who watch Queer Eye, their recent “inspirational quotes” for every scene change will be present here, lol! Ugh I am having too much fun writing this, thank you!!

> **_Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind".~~ William Shakespeare  
> _ **
> 
> * * *
> 
> "At first, I was like, who is this boy, who is this Hunkin log of juicy rib meat. The man is an ADONIS," Jonathan remarked, fanning himself while he observed Colin. 
> 
> "It was like baby lemon turned 10 extra shades redder when this hunk came around; I was hard-pressed to call her baby strawberry right then and there," Jonathan's eyes gleamed brightly.

* * *

"It looks like a 'mare in here," Colin chortled, eyes widening when he saw the Fab 5 all over her apartment. 

Penelope nodded and chuckled nervously. "Yeah… my life is upside down." 

Colin looked at Penelope; concern tinged his eyes. His hand reached out to grasp hers gently. Penelope jerked slightly, but softened. 

_[The camera cuts to Jonathan, wide-eyed, mouth agape, standing right behind Penelope, looking at Colin holding Penelope's hand.]_

"How're you feeling? You don't have to do any of this. If this is too much for you, just say the word and I’ll tell them to stop. This seems like a lot of people and interaction for you," Colin whispered, leaning close to Penelope as if blocking the cameras from hearing them.

* * *

> "When I arrived at Pen's house, it was absolute chaos," Colin laughed, glancing at the cameras. "Growing up with Penelope, I know _what_ makes her uncomfortable and _when_ she is uncomfortable, and these were one of those moments." He folded his arms but turned to his left. "What, Benedict?"
> 
> Benedict Bridgerton, who was sitting next to Colin, rolled his eyes. "Uh-huh, but did you have to cancel _our_ trip to Croatia for this?"
> 
> "As a childhood friend, and our sister's best friend, I just wanted to check up on her," Colin replied, shrugging into the camera.
> 
> "Okay, but did you cancel your trip just for this?" Benedict queried again. “Have you ever heard of that wonderful invention called the smartphone? A high-tech tool people use to video call their friends, families… _lovers_ to check up on them while away..hm?”
> 
> "Okay, yes, I did cancel my trip to Croatia, but that's not important because we rescheduled it for next week," Colin argued.
> 
> Benedict looked into the camera, his eyelids drooping as if annoyed but had a sly look on his face, his lips lopsided to one side.

* * *

Penelope giggled and waved her hands to dismiss his thought. "That's very sweet of you, Colin. I'm still completely shocked. But Eloise and my sister said I need to have an open mind. And I am taking it as it is," She shrugged. 

"Are you sure? It's not too loud or intrusive?" Colin asked, giving her hand a light squeeze.

"It is deafening and utterly intrusive, and it's...," Penelope started.

"Not you," Colin recognized.

Penelope gazed at him, nodded, and then spoke. "True, which is probably why my sister and Eloise did this to me. But I am finding out, I am weirdly masochistic about this experience," Penelope crinkled her eyes and nose.

Colin raised a brow, his mouth opening and closing in shock. "Penelope, you're already learning new things about yourself, and they've barely been here a while!"

Penelope laughed and shrugged. "Now's the time to YOLO."

Colin blinked a couple of times at her, and laughter followed his confusion. "Penelope… when did YOLO sneak into your vocabulary? Who are you even?" He bumped shoulders with her, and Penelope giggled.

* * *

> "It was like…. I didn't exist…" Jonathan said in awe to the camera. "I was standing right behind Penelope. I was right there, all 6 feet of my gloriousness," he whispered to the camera, pointing to himself from top to bottom.
> 
> "It was like, I shouldn't have been there, like I was the one intruding on an intimate moment. As opposed to Colin walking in on us, like I had no business being there at all." Jonathan shook his head, putting a hand over his heart like he was hurt and the other hand fanned the invisible tears from his eyes. "I felt like giving myself a timeout for disturbing mummy and daddy time, bad Jonathan! Bad!"

* * *

"Okay ARE WE READY TO ROCK AND R— _Oh hello_ , "Karamo jumped down to the entrance yelling out for people to roll out before seeing Colin, and his tone instantly changed. 

The rest of the Fab 5 came barreling their way towards Colin when they realized they had a guest.

* * *

> "And then Karamo blew it," Jonathan groaned loudly at the cameras. "You, sir, just ruined what would have been a classic romance movie."
> 
> "What?? I didn't know what was happening, also, what a gorgeous man. Can we talk about how good-looking that man is?" Karamo looked into the camera in wonder.
> 
> "We were all literally stepping all over each other to get to Colin," Bobby laughed at the camera. "It was chaos."
> 
> "Bobby literally stepped on me to get to Colin!" Antoni complained.
> 
> "Great fashion sense, those pants, that shirt, that jacket, so handsome!, "Tan said, fanning himself as well.
> 
> "I heard all the Bridgerton boys are good looking, now I want to see all of them. Because clearly this one's taken," Jonathan said with dismay.
> 
> "No, we can't just assume," Karamo warned. "It could be anyone, who knows, Colin might be married!"

* * *

Karamo's loud yell finally grabbed both Penelope and Colin's attention, with Colin releasing Penelope's hand and taking a step back.

"I haven't met you!" Karamo stated, extending out his hand, obviously trying his best not to be in awe or flirt with Colin.

"I'm Colin Bridgerton! One of the nominator's brothers and Penelope's honorary friends because I used to bail Eloise and Pen out of situations when they were kids, even now," Colin said, grinning. 

A flash of disappointment flashed on Penelope's face for just a brief second before replacing her expression with a smile and looking away.

* * *

> "Oh just a best friend. False alarm," Tan said with a pout.
> 
> "I feel like… this is like a book I read from LW's romance series…" Antoni said, jumping off the confessional couch to go off-screen to look for something. 
> 
> Jonathan shook his head vigorously. "Uh-uh, my deepest gayest gut is ringing even _she_ says these are not just besties. Something _else_ is going on there."
> 
> _[Off screen, Antoni could be heard mumbling, "I could've sworn, I read a Childhood Friends to Lovers Trope in one of her books! And I could've sworn I read it, which book was it…"]_
> 
> Karamo scratched his chin and pondered. "I mean, looks pretty friend-zoned to me."
> 
> Jonathan heaved. "Don't you dare say that! Take that back! Baby sunshine does not get friendzoned! How Rude!"

* * *

"Oh my god! You're one of the many gorgeous Bridgerton brothers," Jonathan screeched. "Let's hug!" Jonathan was not shy in grabbing Colin and embracing him. "And oh my, can I touch your beautiful hair? Oh my god."

He touched Colin's hair. "Oh my god, Penelope, have you touched his hair?"

"Uhhhh, n-no," Penelope shook her head. 

"Penelope!! Touch his hair it's so soft," Jonathan was mesmerized. 

"Oh no-no, it's okay, I don't need to-," she moved her hands to indicate no and blushed.

"Penelope, PLEASE TOUCH THIS GORGEOUS HAYS OF HEAVEN," Jonathan all but screamed at her. Penelope jumped up and had to tiptoe to touch Colin's hair. Colin smirked and bent a little so Penelope could feel his hair. 

"Oh my, it's extremely soft," she murmured, her eyes dropping from his hair that she was stroking, to his face, which was nearly leveled with hers. She exhaled, and a visible flush crept across her cheeks. She jumped backward. "Yeah it's soft." 

Colin smirked. "You think so? Do I need a makeover?" Colin asked Penelope cheekily. "Maybe I can come along, learn a thing or two."

"You do not need a makeover, son, you-," Tan began before getting elbowed by Jonathan in the ribs. "OW!"

Jonathan cried. "Wait, you want to come along? That's unorthodox in this show, a first, oh my god, I love going off script."

Bobby looked past the camera and mouthed, pointing at Colin. "Is that allowed?"

"Wait, you want to come along?" Penelope gawked at Colin wide-eyed, shifting uncomfortably from side to side. "I-I thought you just were dropping by not coming along." 

"GUYS, THIS GORGEOUS DELICIOUS SON OF ZEUS WANTS TO COME ALONG," Jonathan screamed. "WE'RE LETTING HIM COME."

Colin glanced over at Penelope, who was taking shallow breaths. She was sweating. "Guess I'm coming along."

> * * *
> 
> Penelope looked into the camera, her eyes wide with shock. She raised her hands up in confusion. 
> 
> "But why??" she started inhaling deeply, sucking in as much air as she could to breathe. She then let out a loud "Aghhhhh" exhale. 

* * *

_[Queer Eye montage as they prepare to come up with ideas for Penelope's glow-up]_

"A queer eye first, letting someone come on our adventures," Jonathan said, clapping his hands in excitement. "Who knows! This could be a great idea! Maybe love can blossom out of this. Either way honey, my Baby Sunshine will find love at the end of the day. Even if it's the absolute last thing I have to do."Jonathan snapped at the cameras.

"Penelope needs a space that delineates who she is as a writer, Lady Whistledown, and who she actually is," Bobby told the cameras. "So we're going to give her just that, a time to be Penelope Featherington and a time to be Lady Whistledown."

"It's not about how you look, it's about how you feel, and Penelope already looks great. We just need to give her the tools to feel great. To get out there. Starting with getting rid of the yellow frocks," Tan stated.

"Penelope is so excited about food, judging by her stocked beautiful kitchen, she loves to entertain but wants to make more homey food. So I am going to teach her food that comes from the heart, cause as you know, a way to a man's heart is through his stomach," Antoni winked. 

"Penelope is such a perfect person. She's at a place in her life where she needs to put herself out there, We need to find the real Penelope and let her fly," Karamo said to the cameras. 

* * *

> **_"You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great."~~ Zig Ziglar_ **

* * *

**Home**

"Penelope, I brought you here because we have upgraded from IKEA, and we want you to get a good style in your house, to separate where you work and where you relax and entertain," Bobby said to Colin and Penelope. He decided to bring them to Next home. 

"So Penelope, do you know the style you'd like for your new home?" Bobby questioned. 

"Style? Not really sure," Penelope pondered, trying to think about what she actually liked. 

"You like simple stuff, no?" Colin chirped, picking up a vintage white porcelain teapot, with golden trims around it. "Simple but with a slight edge to it, like this teapot."

"I-I do? How would you know? I'm not sure..." Penelope asked. Then looking at the teapot, she paused. "Oh, I do actually like how that teapot looks..." she grumbled.

Colin nodded as if he was so very sure of himself. "I remember going to IKEA with you and Eloise because you needed someone to carry all your things for you," he chuckled. "Eloise kept gravitating to this ugly gaudy flowery couch while you kept going towards the white sofa with grey edges."

"Oh! I remember! You had to talk her out of getting it; I had no preference; otherwise, I would've gone with what Eloise wanted," Penelope smiled, shrugging.

"And I wondered where Eloise got that sense of Style from. Surely she did not get her taste from _my_ mother, more like she got it from _your_ mother," Colin teased.

"Yes! Because my mother would've liked that couch!" she laughed.

* * *

> Bobby looked at the camera. "Now I know how Jonathan felt, when he was around them… it was like I didn't exist, like am I intruding on a couples date.. or…"

* * *

**Food**

"Okay, have you guys been here before?" Antoni asked both Colin and Penelope as they walked into the Savoy Grill owned by Gordon Ramsay.

"No, I've always wanted to!" Penelope answered.

"Yes," Colin said. Penelope grimaced. 

"Oh?" Antoni questioned as he walked them into the industrial kitchen. "Must be something fancy to come here for."

Colin shrugged. "Nothing important went here on a date once."

"Must've been a terrible date if I didn't hear about it," Penelope uttered quietly but realized she actually said it out loud when both Colin and Antoni stared at her. Colin had an indecipherable look on his face while Antoni gaped at her in amazement.

Penelope reddened and quickly skittered behind to where Antoni was standing. 

"Oh really, how did that workout?" Antoni asked, trying to cut the tension.

"Food was great, but as Penelope mentioned, it was a terrible date," Colin said nonchalantly.

An " _euf"_ was heard behind Antoni. Penelope was still hiding behind him. 

"Don't worry, Penelope, you're right," Colin snickered, breaking the ice so Penelope would pop her head back out to look at Colin. "It was terrible because she did not eat. She was more interested in her phone and...did I mention she did not eat?” he scoffed. "Can you believe it? Michelin star restaurant and she did not want to get down and dirty eating good food."

"Oh, would you look at that! We’re turning that lemon, into lemonade! No pun intended my little sunshine, because both of you are going to be covered in a ton of meat and flour by the end of this, we're going to make my good friend Gordon Ramsay's famous Beef wellington," Antoni declared passionately.

Colin's eyes grew. "I thought this day couldn't get any better. IT DID. I LOVE Beef wellington. It's like this class was made for me, not Penelope," Colin grinned, slapping his hands together and rubbing them. 

Penelope beamed. Her eyes lit up as she watched Colin. 

"So Colin, this will be a perfect date then, because dirty, check, eating, check check!" Antoni said, grabbing a couple of aprons and throwing it at them. 

"Great, I love a girl who can eat and get their hands dirty," Colin smirked. Penelope choked back a gasp.

* * *

> Antoni peered into the camera. "There is enough pressure here to instapot cook a slab of meat to medium-well done. And I think that's burnt. Are these two…" his eyes narrowed as he trailed off thinking.
> 
> "Nah…." he shook his head. 

"Or…." his eyes glittered as his eyes brows wiggled.

* * *

> **"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." ~~ Maya Angelou**

* * *

**Clothes**

"Okay, Penelope, I am bringing you here because I think they have all types of styles, even if you don't have a style," Tan said, bringing both Penelope and Colin to Oasis in London.

"They're simple yet have a lot of flair. And I have noticed that you don't shy away from color or Style. With all those yellows and garish colors and frills!" Tan exclaimed. "Which makes you such a great canvas for _anything,_ " Tan said, clapping his hands joyously. 

"Does Colin need to be here?" Penelope asked into the air, just asking practically anyone, including Colin himself.

"Yes? Why not?" Colin queried.

Penelope reddened and breathed out loud. "Not that I don't want you here…" she trailed off.

"Oh, do I make you uncomfortable?" Colin asked. "I am the best person to ask for clothing advice Penelope."

"Are you really?" she quirked a brow. "You are so humble and modest Colin Bridgerton." 

"Do not mock me, Penelope Featherington, I am way better than, say, Eloise," Colin said, humor flashing in his eyes.

Penelope opened her mouth, only to shut it, scowling gloomily at Colin. 

"Ah, I got you there," Colin smirked and wiggled his eyebrows. 

"Okay, once you both are done with the flirting, I picked out a couple of things for you, Penelope, Tan finally said. "Colin, if you want to sit down and comment as she comes out, that would be appreciative, but be nice."

* * *

> Tan looked into the camera and let out a short laugh. "I had to wait for them to finish. They were clearly flirting. Clearly!."

* * *

Colin feigned shock. "I'm always nice," he gave a coy look to Penelope. "Aren't I?"

Penelope chuckled and shrugged. "I suppose, but if you have to say it out loud, it takes away from you actually being nice."

"Ouch, that hurt," a hand flew to Colin's chest. 

"I take that back," Penelope giggled, looking over at Tan. "Colin is the nicest Bridgerton," Penelope said, walking into the dressing room.

Tan clapped. "Perfect! Cue 80's music changing clothes montage!" 

Colin took out his phone and turned on _'you're the best around by Joe Esposito'_.

"Oh they're going to layer the music on in post-production, but I love the ambiance this is giving," Tan said with a thumbs up. 

Penelope finished dressing up and peeked out of the dressing room.

"Pen come out! I see your redhead poke out of there," Colin called out. 

Penelope exhaled loudly and came out in a beautiful [long black patterned flowy dress](https://www.instagram.com/p/B8Y4dvaHjEa/?utm_source=ig_embed), walking out awkwardly at first because of the heels.

A tinge of surprise spread across Colin's face seeing her come out. "Wow, that, uh, that looks great," Colin said in a voice with a higher timbre than usual. He cleared a furball that suddenly got lodged in his throat. 

Penelope blushed, swaying from side to side as the dress flowed along with her. "Really?"

"It looks fantastic, Penelope! How do you feel in it?" Tan asked.

"Great, actually!" Penelope beamed at him. "I feel a little more confident."

"Yeah, you look confident," Colin murmured from where he was sitting. His eyes are still fixed on Penelope.

* * *

> "OH My God, by the third dress montage in, Penelope was walking out confidently in heels, shaking those hips!! She moved with such grace and fluidity," Tan said into the camera. "I don't want to get to Jonathan level squealing, but this is one of my best creations."
> 
> Jonathan snapped his head to look at the camera. "But _I_ can get Jonathan level squealing, so I'm going to do it now," Jonathan squealed. "BABY LEMON IS GOH-OR-GEOUS. I mean, now I have to call her something else, Baby Fox? Baby Butterfly? Baby Mamacita?" He sighed dreamily. 

* * *

Penelope then came out in a midi light [green dress ](https://www.instagram.com/p/CJY4K7eA31y/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link), with puffy sleeves. She was smiling wide, her eyes twinkle as she stopped in front of Colin and Tan. 

Colin swallowed hard, lips parting in a small gasp, his pupils dilating when he saw Penelope. 

"You look amazing," Colin blurted as he stood up. Realizing what he did, and shook his head in shock. 

"I -I mean not that you didn't look great before. It's just.. I've always liked green on you," he uttered out impulsively again, taking a step towards Penelope, then stopping. 

"Uh, I mean green looks great on you," Colin continued blundering. He exhaled loudly before placing a hand on his forehead. 

Penelope blushed as laughter appeared around the corners of her mouth, unable to keep it in. "Th-thank you!"

"Oh wow, Colin, do you want to be my sidekick in our spin-off show?" Tan laughed. "You have a great eye for fashion on Penelope and yourself."

"Penelope, how do you feel in this one?" Tan queried.

"I feel amazing, actually; I never thought I'd wear anything this tight, but I feel strangely comfortable, and I love it," Penelope said breathlessly.

Tan choked back a squeal. "Okay perfect that's exactly how I want you to feel because that's how clothes should make you feel. We're going with silhouettes that hug your curves more but still making it comfortable and classy, like a Lady Whistledown."

Penelope nodded happily, twirling in front of the mirror.

Tan nodded. "Yes! Before, you used to blend into one moving lemon popsicle. But now, with these shapes, colors, you pop out more, and you are going to look more amazing than you already do!" 

"I had no idea I looked like a mutant child before as if the sun, a banana, and a lemon had a baby," Penelope huffed, crossing her arms like a child. "No one told me I looked bad, but I looked horrible."

"Pfft, Penelope, you looked fine before. Stop roasting yourself because you're the most adorable baby to have exploded from it," Colin snickered. 

Penelope blushed, red creeping from her chest to her cheeks. 

* * *

**Hair**

"Oh my god Baby doll!" Jonathan screeched when he saw Penelope walk through the door to the salon with Colin behind her.

"Every time I lay my eyes on you, I wonder how I am ever going to let you go. You are so Sumptuous and scrumptious. Ugh you're letting my inner Blanche from Golden Girls come out." Jonathan sighed out loud. He then looked over at Colin. "And you, another gorgeous being with soft baby butt hair," he hugged Colin as well.

"Okay, sit down, baby princess, so we're going to land on a beautiful look here, not much is going to change," Jonathan said as he ran his fingers gently through Penelope's hair. "We're just bringing you from a 100 to a 1500000 million. Okay?"

"Good." Colin agreed.

"Oh wowwee, we have a vocal one here," Jonathan side-eyed Colin. "We like that. We stan a man who takes charge, but not too much, okay?"

Colin chuckled and backed off. 

"Okay, so I love your hair as it is, elegantly beautiful. We just need a little snip snip and get rid of these tight curls at the front. I don't even want to touch you that much you are already so beautiful," Jonathan cooed.

"Wait, are you keeping her red hair?" Colin asked nervously. 

Jonathan gaped at him. "If you must really know Mr. fashion police, yes I am."

Colin let out a breath of relief. "Okay!" 

He then noticed Jonathan and Penelope looking at him quizzically, waiting for him to say something.

"Ah, I mean, Penelope's red hair is, well, Penelope. It's just not a normal color you see on anyone. It's what makes her Penelope. I can spot her from a mile away with it. It's what makes her Penelope, amongst other things."

Jonathan prodded, arching a brow. "Is… is that all?"

Colin blinked back at him. "Yes?"

* * *

> Jonathan stared incredulously into the camera. "Boy just downright gave some sort of romance movie type of declaration and just shrugged it off like he was talking about a cheap pair of sunglasses he bought off of Amazon. Like, what?? What alternate world am I living in?"

* * *

"Hey all!" Karamo called out as he walked into the salon, spotting them. "I'm here to borrow Colin! You don't really want to hang around as they blow, cut and dry, do you?"

Colin looked at Penelope and shrugged. "I don't mind."

"Can we step outside for a bit as they continue to do hair?" Karamo tried again.

Colin looked over at Penelope as if asking for permission if it's okay to leave her. Penelope looked at him with her big bright eyes and smiled tensely. 

Jonathan looked at the camera, and a smile pulled at the ends of his lips. 

"I trust you not to change her completely, Jonathan," Colin said. 

Penelope rolled her eyes. "Who gave you permission to speak for me Colin Bridgerton."

"Since the Fab 5 let me come along!" he grinned. "You don't speak up sometimes! I'm just here to make sure you stay _you_."

Jonathan heaved, a hand flying to his chest, his mouth dropping open. “Yes, Colin Brih-guh-ton. How _dare_ you, sir. I would never try to change her completely. I'm just going to take her and make her look like Princess Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, just redhead and more relaxed curly hair."

Colin blinked at Jonathan, clearly having no idea what he was talking about.

Jonathan tsked impatiently. "Princess Diaries? Anne Hathaway? Infamous makeover scene?"

Colin continued to stare at him blankly, shaking his head. 

"Know what, Karamo, take him away from my face," Jonathan huffed, waving his hand for them to go away, and they did.

"Gosh, finally, now that the ball and chains is gone," Jonathan said, rolling his eyes, making Penelope burst out laughing.

"I wish," Penelope muttered under her breath.

"So Penelope, tell me about this crush everyone has been talking about," Jonathan just came out with it. 

Penelope inhaled too quickly, nearly choking on her saliva. She kept hacking and beat her chest while Jonathan yelped and patted her back.

"Oh God, honey, no, please don't die. We haven't even done your hair! I am not going to allow you to die in these tight curls!”

Penelope finally calmed down and stopped coughing, gawking at Jonathan through the mirror.

"Pardon?" She laughed apprehensively. "Ahah crush? What crush?" She continued coughing. "Where did you get that from?"

"Honey nut cheerios, I am not known for my subtlety," he clicked his tongue. "Come on, no one is here. Tell Sister Mary Clarence Jonathan the story. There has to be something going on there."

Penelope sighed as Jonathan combed her hair gently.

"I have liked this boy since I was a child, but that's a silly, silly pipe dream. He's so unattainable. He's so charming, everyone loves him, it's just… no. Girls like me don't end up with guys like him," Penelope said wistfully. 

"Excuse me? What did I say about saying rude things about the light of my life?" Jonathan choked, pressing Penelope's cheeks. "Do you even see yourself? you goddess you!" Jonathan scoffed. He stopped brushing her hair and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Truly Penelope, have you seen yourself?" he asked. 

Penelope gazed up to see the mirror.

"I-I guess?"

"Girl, you are a ray of sunshine, you don't even know. I will drill that into your soul so good you will be walking out of there feeling like a million bucks… no, INFINITY bucks. We are going to make you such a sexy beast, no, fox, no, deity, you are going to be my best work yet," Jonathan said passionately. 

* * *

**"To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind."~~ Theophile Gautier**

* * *

**Culture**

> "To really get to Penelope's issues, I actually need to sit down with Colin. It seems like he knows her well since he grew up with her," Karamo told the cameras. 

* * *

"Let's take a walk around the block, so Colin, you grew up with Penelope, right? Tell me more about her; what do you think about what we can try and help her with," Karamo led the way with Colin walking next to him. 

"To be candid," Colin admitted. "I don't know why Eloise or Felicity thought to do this. Which is why I came by to check on her. I knew she'd be uncomfortable, but she's adapting well. I've never seen her so open. She's quiet, and that's not necessarily a bad thing," Colin murmured. 

"Oh, definitely not!"

"She's quiet, for sure. Which is why I found it funny she became best friends with my obnoxiously loud sister," Colin's mouth curved into a smile. 

"People just click, you know, like you and her, you guys are close in a way. I know that Penelope is only close to a select few people," Karamo said. 

"And Pen's a pretty fantastic girl," Colin declared. "I mean, she’s like this energy grid that could light up the city.” Colin chuckled. “Unusual, right? Considering she’s quiet, but it's a different energy, comfortable."

"Yeah yeah," Karamo nodded enthusiastically. "We felt that too. She has something about her that is soothing. Why do you think she shouldn't change because everyone else thinks she should get out of her shell more. Well, except you."

"I travel a lot for work," Colin explained. "And whenever I come back, it's utter chaos with my family, I have 7 other brothers and sisters, and we all spend time together, and my mother constantly prods me about getting married." he rolled his eyes. 

"But Penelope's a great constant. She doesn't change. She's happy to see me, and I would tell her about my travels, and unlike my family who talks over me, Penelope just listens, and I mean, _really_ listen," Colin continued, a smile etching his face as he spoke. 

Karamo nodded. "Oh, for sure, when we first met her, we wondered why we were here. She's gorgeous, she's successful, but again there are things deep down there that maybe you don't see. There are quite a few things actually troubling her, and she acknowledges it, which is why she's probably more open to this than you think." 

Colin grimaced. "Oh? Really?"

"You ever wonder why she's quiet? Or single? As someone who grew up with her, maybe you would know?"

Colin's cheeks flushed red, and he shook his head. "I don't… I don't really think about that, for as long as I grew up with her, she never really went out with anyone? I never thought of her being with anyone, and I never thought anything was wrong. She's just… Penelope."

"What we need to do is get her out of that shell, get her out there and meet people. People other than you, Eloise and her sister. The fact she thinks she's a wallflower and doesn't like it tells me she wants to break out of her shell. She just doesn't know how."

"Uh, yeah… yeah…." Colin stuttered. "I suppose…"

* * *

> Karamo looked into the camera. "Colin seems to think Penelope shouldn't change and is shocked this was even happening. It's interesting. Not many people adore someone like this much, but he's also oblivious that Penelope has insecurities. So maybe Colin isn't the best person to talk to about this." Karamo's brows creasing, deep in thought. 
> 
> "Uhm, _honey_ , something is going on there because no male childhood friends is as overprotective or intrusive as this one without having some sort of _agenda_ …" Jonathan paused. "Unless, Colin is just a pretty face and completely inattentive to his surroundings, which….Oh no, it's clicking now," Jonathan gasped. 
> 
> "Colin's a Himbo," Jonathan slapped his hands to his cheek, screeching.
> 
> Tan chuckled and looked back at the camera. "Translating Jonathan to the world, Himbo is a super attractive male-,"
> 
> "Colin." Antoni pointed out.
> 
> "Who is… how shall we say this correctly," Tan tried to find a more correct word, but Jonathan interjected impatiently.
> 
> "Dumb. Boy, ya dumb," Jonathan said, as he dramatically folded his arms and huffed into the camera.

* * *

"Okay, let's go back in and check out what surprise Jonathan has for us," Katamo mentioned to Colin as they both walked back to the salon.

"AHHHH!! You guys are in time! For Baby Lemon to turn into a Baby Sexy Fox!" Jonathan jumped up and down when he saw them come in, clapping his hands gleefully. "Meet the new Princess Penelope Featherington of Mayfair!" he called out.

On cue, Penelope popped her head out and walked out slowly and awkwardly to the front of the salon. Her hair kept her length, just with soft curls flowing down her shoulders. The tight curls that used to frame her face were now wisps of loose curls.

"Bish, I gave her soft Hollywood curls for days. Gone were the tight granny curls that framed her face. Now they're luscious, gorgeous, amazing, there's more body to it, ah!" Jonathan squealed.

Colin stared at Penelope in awe. He rubbed his eyes a few times as he approached her.

"Pen?" he whispered as he walked closer to her. Penelope inhaled sharply as he moved closer.

Colin looked at her face, then her hair, and then broke out into a grin. "Is that you down there?" he jested.

Penelope scowled, then burst out laughing as she smacked Colin in the gut. "You're the worst."

Colin continued laughing, protecting his stomach from another one of Penelope's attacks. 

"I'm sorry! But no, I'm serious. You look amazing," he breathed and finally stopped laughing. 

He gazed at Penelope softly, his expression slack as his hand came up to touch the ends of her hair, twisting the curly lock in between his fingers. "It's still you, just, well more? I like it," he whispered.

Penelope's face turned red, and a short breath escaped her lips as they parted. Her hands balled up into fists as it came up to rest on her chest while Colin kept twisting her red locks between his fingers.

_[Jonathan and Karamo's jaws dropped in the background. Jonathan kept hitting Karamo's arm while not tearing his gaze away from Penelope and Colin.]  
_

* * *

> "What the F-CK, pardon my language, a Lady doesn't swear, but what the F-CK is happening right now?" Jonathan asked in a pitch a few octaves higher than normal into the camera in disbelief. “Is this really happening? OH my god!!! My little gay heart is squealing!!!”

* * *

"Know what? We should do speed dating," Karamo said, clearing his throat loudly, breaking the moment up as Penelope sniffled and jumped backward, her hair untangling from Colin's fingers.

"Excuse me?" Colin blinked to look at Karamo. 

"Yeah, speed dating, it gets you to talk about yourself, see what kinds of person you like from first conversations. And since everyone is new to that scene, you won't feel as shy, because everyone else will feel as nervous as you are," Karamo suggested, looking at Penelope and not at Colin, who asked the question.

"Are you- are we sure about this?" Colin stuttered.

* * *

> "Karamo, I would've been more mad at you because you keep interrupting such amazing Romcom moments between these two. But this culture plan of yours, I LOVE." Jonathan shook his head in amazement. "You are diabolical, I didn't know you had this side, sir. I am suddenly afraid,ooo, don't ever let me get on your bad side. "
> 
> "What?? I just thought this was a good exercise to give Penelope," Karamo mentioned. Before deadpanning into the camera. "And Colin."

* * *

"No time like the present!" Penelope said eagerly but with a tinge of nervousness in her voice. "Right?" She looked at Jonathan, who nodded enthusiastically, then at Karamo, who grinned, and lastly, she then glanced at Colin, who had a questioning scowl on his face. 

"So she'll talk to utter strangers?" Colin asked in skepticism.

"If you're worried, Colin, you can accompany her, but you can't be by her side, we don't want people thinking she's with you."

Colin flinched and muttered under his breath. "Is that a bad thing?"

Karamo whipped his head to look at Colin. "Pardon?"

"Yup. I'll go with her just to observe," Colin said brusquely as he walked over to Penelope.

"You know you don't have to change much right?" Colin asked her softly. "You do know that?"

"I think it's time, I basically went through all the stages, this is the last thing to do!" Penelope said, taking a deep breath in. "Who knows, maybe I might catch someone's eye at this thing tonight," she said, her eyes sparkling.

Colin's mouth pursed into a thin line, and he clenched his jaw. His eyes darkened. "You're looking forward to tonight?"

Penelope nodded. "Yeah!" she exclaimed excitedly. "And you don't have to go with me, honestly."

Colin frowned and responded sharply. "I am very much going with you, Pen."

Penelope blinked, shock clouding her face. "Excuse me?"

"Uh, I mean, just to make sure nothing happens, obviously…" Colin hurriedly explained. 

"Colin...first of all, there are at least 10 cameras watching me, I'll be fine." She said, irritation tingeing her voice. "Secondly, I am not a helpless little girl who lives next door anymore, you can stop treating me like one," she told him. "But, if it clears your conscience, fine, you can come with me tonight, but you are not going to interfere. Okay?"

Colin was appalled, it showed all over his face but he had no choice but to nod obediently. 

* * *

> Jonathan looked into the camera and had a slow smile creep onto his face. "I told you so. Pay up bishes." Jonathan kept looking into the camera as he placed his palm out, and a bunch of dollar bills went onto his palm. "My little gay gut, she was ah-screaming since she saw Colin and Penelope together."
> 
> The camera pans out to show the entire Fab 5 on the confessional sofa, staring pointedly into the camera.
> 
> "He's the future husband." They all said in unison.
> 
> “ _Cooonnnnnnnnnfiiiirrrmeddddddd_.” Jonathan squealed in a sing-song voice. 
> 
> * * *
> 
> **“Love is of all the passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses.”~~ Lao Tzu**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Next up! The final episode! Penelope goes to the speed date to put herself out there, and she puts everything she's learned to the test! But does someone else pass or fail the test in figuring it out before it's too late?_


End file.
